For the first time since writing in this blog, I think I have quite a few things to say.

While on my way home sometimes this week, I found myself reflecting on my time here at MITS, what I've learnt and what I want for myself going forward.

I first started working with MITS after making the decision to leave my previous Job writing for a Virtual Assitant company called Katroglobal as a ghost writer. Now before you puzzle yourself thinking "When the hell is a Virtual Assitant" let me explain: from what I've learnt, a Virtual Assistant outsources writers, photographer and other creative talent to complete comission work like articles and stock photos for online businesses. 

So in a nutshell, I had made the decision to write 5-10 articles a day, 25-50 articles a week while going to school full time. At the time, I thought it was the perfect job as all it really required was online research and writing concisely. Two things I can do pretty well, if I do say so myself. However, what made me take that job more than anything else was my passion for writing. I love to write, and I don't think I have ever recieved more positive feedback for anything else that I've done, so I figured why not take the oppurtunity to write hundreds of articles that I will never be acknowledge for? 

Right, doesn't sound like too much of a good idea, and I quickly found that out--but not because my names were being omitted from articles, but because I wasn't the one deciding what the articles were about.

I would recieve 25-50 topics on stuff that yes, did catch my attention occasionally, but at the same time, I was being given someone else's guidelines on how to write someone else's article on a topic that was only interesting to someone other than myself. 

Added to that, I found out that when I'm working for someone else, working from home isn't really that flexible at all. While I was fine with juggling it with school--I had to juggle it my way. I would still get the work done, but only when I was allowed to work with a method that applied to my daily structure with school and all of that.

But that is not what that job required, and so--even though in everyone else's estimation I was making good money [for a student with no bills to pay at least] I left the job. And a lot of my peers though I was crazy for leaving a job that was paying me so much to do something that I liked to do.

But I the money did not matter to me--I was not happy doing something that frustrated me and stressed me out. Sadly, I seem to value my happiness and wellness of self more than I value money. Which, it seems, is a bad thing.

After I left that job though, a sort of salvation came in the form of an internship with MITS through my CARIMAC Lecturer, Mr. Bain. I was all like "YES! HAHA, I told you guys I would be fine!"

And I was. It wasn't writing this time, it was something else that I've been passionate about--it was working as a web design intern.

I loved this job--I loved creating things from scratch, and initially I was very eager to see what my finished product would look live on the internet with clickable buttons and such.  

But soon that was all demystified--people didn't, and actually quote rarely ever stop at "I like this design--" There is never a period, always a but.

And so at the end of a job, you no longer have your vision on your MacBook screen smiling back at you--you have something else, something else that you may or may not be proud of.

But it was okay, because I learnt quickly that that is just how this sort of business works. You're being employed to do what someone else likes, and what someone else wants of you--always. No matter who's likes or dislikes you are catering too--it is your talent and abilities that you are applying, but it is no longer your creative energy, no longer your little brain children.

It's a lot like being able to cook really well but only being allowed to make tuna sandwhiches just the way the customer likes it, or just the way the restaurant manager says the customer should like it, all the time, always.

But what's the upside of that? Well, you can always go home and bake yourself the best cake ever! And believe me, someone will see the cake, like it, and want to taste it. And there are others that will look at it, and suggest that it would be a better cake had you decorated it with Tuna instead of frosting. But it's okay--because your frosted cake is something you are proud of--and that's what should matter.

If you've read this far, then I really commend you. Because this has been a very long winded post.

But I really want to say that, leaving MITS next week will be sort of bitter sweet. I mean, I know it's cliché to say, but it's true. I have learnt so much from work here, and just working in General.

Some people do Internships and leave sure of their career path, and positive that "YES! This is what I want to do." For me, it's a little different.

I am, as always, unsure of my career path, but I have been able to use my experiences to redefine and refine my life goals.

I am now positive that I do not want to work FOR others, because it's an environment that I think is limiting and stifling.

But while working at MITS made me realise that, I also realised that I love working WITH like-minded people, and that collaboration on creative projects with people--I absolutely loved working with Amanda, a friend of mine who also interned here briefly, and the design we did together is really one that I am proud of.

Working with MITS really has been a life changing experience, I got the inside look on so many things, and it's always great to be able to witness the inner workings and process of a huge institution like UWI Mona.

I think everyone should do internships, because you can learn so many things to develop yourself as a student, professional and in general as a person.

You may do your internship and realise that yes, this is exactly what I want to be doing, or you may realise the opposite.

In the end, I assure you that you will learn, and it will change you and if you're smart you will make the best of your experience.

I fully intend on making the best of mine.

--rush.